On Type Two’s Path to Wholeness, we begin with their strengths. They are natural-born nurturers, as I have mentioned in a previous entry yet they also have the gift of empathy, open-heartedness, warmth, and generosity. At their best, they love without conditions, are self-loving (yes, this is a good thing), feel as though they are living on purpose, and are gracious and humble. Average behaviors include people pleasing, seeking and giving approval, being a rescuer, possessive, self-important, and a martyr.

Type Two’s shadow side is pride but not the pride you might think. It doesn’t look like the pride one gets from a job well done, but more as the unconscious need to puff yourself up so you can be exactly what other people want or need. On the inflated side, they believe they can meet everybody’s needs. But when reality hits (they can’t meet everyone’s needs) they adopt a diminished image of themselves as being flawed or inadequate. This feeling also comes from a lack of reciprocity by the receiver of the Two’s pleasing ways. Oftentimes, Twos “give to get” and this philosophy leads to disappointment when they aren’t recognized for their efforts.

The neural addiction for the Two, to cope with this shadow, is the Pleaser Saboteur (PQ Intelligence™). The Pleaser indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others.  In the Pleaser mode, the Two can lose sight of their own needs and become resentful as a result.  This is what happens when Two’s strengths are out of control. This is true about all Enneagram types. When our strengths overrun our lives, usually in times of stress, we turn to our Saboteur. Being aware of this behavior is a fantastic growth opportunity, one you will notice (if you are a two in this case) again and again. It will be up to you to stop this neural addiction in its tracks and opt for a different behavior. Growth!

And finally, on our Path to Wholeness, we come to the Whole-y Idea of Will and Freedom. (I wasn’t sure how to draw Will so I just drew Freedom.). With the realization that the world needs your nurturing, empathy, and open-heartedness but you are not the only one who provides this, you can let go of the need to please and show up with your beautiful strengths to give to the world without the baggage. The Universe is quite capable of providing the nurturing we need, and when a Two can relax into this Truth, they can get into better touch with their needs and drop the Pleaser (aka enabler) routine. It is in all of our best interests to drop our Saboteur behavior so we can show up with our strengths, in all of their God-given glory. We need you Twos and be confident in the knowledge that this is true and that you are a part of the bigger plan to nurture the world. Put your oxygen mask on first though, baby!