People often think their stress is because of circumstances or some other person.  I can tell you from first-hand experience, that neither of these was true when my usual state of FLOW was upended this past weekend.  

Over the weekend, I was hit with something I wasn’t expecting to be my responsibility.   I could get into the details, but I won’t.  Needless to say, it sent me spiraling - and not in a beautiful go-deeper-into-yourself-logo kind of way.  More like the off-the-rails way.  Anger seemingly from the depths of Hell.  Frustration so deep I felt I couldn’t contain myself.  Off the charts annoyance.  And TEARS!  Tears?  I was inconsolable.   I haven’t felt this way in a long time, the kind of fresh frustration only a fresh ex-husband can give you, but in this case, it was the not-so-fresh-ex-husband.  The stories I played in my head from feeling betrayed to questioning the loyalty of my adult children went around and around in my head.  Around and around in my head.  And that is stress.  

Stories.  

And where do these stories come from?  They come from your Shadow and your Saboteur.  My Shadow is Avarice.  My Saboteur, Hyper-Rational (reference Shirzad Chamine’s PQ Intelligence Program™).  It wasn’t until a day or two later when I realized the truth behind this.  My Avarice shadow has tricked me into believing my resources are scarce - my time, my energy, my money, my space (my books, my food, my….should I go on?).   Of course, because these resources are limited (in my mind) my perception of my responsibility gets a little skewed and then Hyper-Rational steps in to justify my reaction.  Hyper-Rational actually thinks rationale works. All. The. Time.  It doesn’t.  It certainly doesn’t when one isn’t dealing with rational relationships.  

So, while you might think someone else is causing you stress, something else is causing you stress, it is neither.  YOU are actually causing the stress because of the stories YOU are telling yourself from your Shadow and your Saboteur.  These stories are lies.  

So what’s a human to do?

This human tried to put the coach’s hat on (remember that Hyper-Rational character).  You would think this could be a good strategy.  It wasn’t since being rational wasn’t going to work. Remember, this isn’t a rational situation.  

What did I need?  

I needed Spirit to show up.  I needed the Sage Perspective (again, PQ Intelligence™) - what is the gift or opportunity here?  I had to get quiet.

I sat down and with my non-dominant hand “walked” my beautiful lap-sized wooden labyrinth.  I went in with a mantra of “let go.”  As I stayed in the center of my labyrinth,  my mantra of “let go” turned to “Let God.”  I came out hearing those words and realizing this was the way out of the downward spiral.  I promised myself, that every time those negative Hyper-Rational thoughts creep in my head, or I feel the anxiety just below the surface, I take a breath and say, “Let God.”  Now remember, I’m not talking religion here.  You know I don’t talk about that.  I am talking about “Let Love” “Let Peace” “Let Joy” and “Let the Mystery unfold.”  This is a major growth practice (Day One down) I plan to place at the top of my Habit Tracker.  This is doing the work.   

I’m not patting myself on the back. I was desperate.  I am desperate.  And desperate people do desperate things.  This Hyper-Rational girl knew she needed a dose of magic, a dose of the irrational.  Embracing some habit-forming heavenly help is just the rationale I needed.  

If you need help discovering your Shadow and Saboteur, I can help you.