When I was a little girl, I went roller skating with my sister and her friends. She is 10 years older than me and always allowed me to tag along. It was always so much fun and hanging out with real adults was my comfort zone. I remember one time in particular, we stopped to eat some lunch. Someone (who will remain nameless) reached across the table and stole one of my fries right off my plate. I lost it. I actually started crying. Everyone teased me and to this day, they still do but what my little Five-self didn’t know (and clearly no one else did) was that resources were important to me and sharing isn’t my strong suit. Now, had they asked if they could have a fry, I would have (begrudgingly) offered one up (just ask Ernie if I like to share my dinners) but I most likely wouldn’t have lost it.

The why behind this Shadow and behind everyone’s Shadow lies in the Enneagram. When I first learned about my Shadow, it was as if someone turned the lights on. I had the why behind my behavior and when the Shadow becomes conscious, it is truly transformative. Of course, we can’t excuse this behavior as “that’s just me” but we can understand ourselves a little better and through this understanding, give ourselves some grace.

Remember, I am still offering FREE Enneagram typing sessions. If you’ve done it for yourself then now it is time to offer it to someone you love. Your relationship will forever be changed, for the better. And FYI, I LOVE doing these. I feel on purpose. You are not taking advantage of me. I WANT to do them - so please take me up on this offer.

While I know my latest blogs don’t quite have the flavor of former blogs, I am trying to set up a reference system for those who are just beginning to explore the Enneagram. Without this baseline of knowledge, we really can’t get into the specifics of each type. You can read this week’s blog here where I dive into instincts and Subtypes.