I asked the Universe
for more support
to be full of thought
Like the game of chess
a move ahead
A game I never learned
The first test came quickly
Next day actually
I failed
I failed big time
You know, those big mistakes
One you can’t really fix
That solo opportunity
Once in a lifetime
No take-backsies
I knew it was her last
New home was calling
Thought weeks ago
I would be there for her
Attend her church
The one she loved
To be by her side
Her last time there
But less important things
became
seemingly more important
that day
Derailed the promise
Remembered way
too late
Embarrassed, ashamed
and disappointed
in myself
In the broken promises
I was tested to keep
The test the Universe
gave me
The one for which I asked
I saw her days later
I told her the mistake
She smiled, hugged me
Trying to unburden me
But I felt it deep
Was filled with so
much regret
She didn’t forgive
It wasn’t her role
That was reserved
for me to myself
She held space
as I sobbed in her arms
I’m sorry wasn’t taught
something never heard
or learned growing up
Hard to say, hard to teach
Hard to practice
those two little words
But I like to learn, right?
Even in the discomfort
So I said them to her
I’m sorry my friend
and I’m sorry Universe
I vow to do better
Those once in a lifetimes
A bedside, a move,
a moment in time
Any transition in life
Keep an eye out
It can slip by
Forever gone
Forever regretted
I will receive
many chances I’m sure
to practice full of thought-ness
and I’m sorrys, I know
Opportunities abound
grateful for another day
To practice the work
For which I asked