Raised within the boundaries of primary
and secondary Catholic schools
sin was a big topic
and my sins
later in life
were always a matter of the heart
On a recent weekend to Lake Placid
I reflected on my biggest sin
the one where
we ended two marriages
hurt two people
two mostly innocent people
Because Lake Placid is the home of
my second marriage
right on her little sister
Mirror lake
Where we said “I do"
And then canoed
I’ve always said
The Universe conspired
It was my way of putting
The blame somewhere else
Deflecting ownership
probably another sin
We bumbled through
raising four children together
and starting a
small business in a small town
The odds against us
in so many ways
And then on
another Lake Placid weekend
a man became an Ironman
and despite the depletion
conception
Iron Daddy
A few months later
We learn “it’s a boy”
My love jumping over the hospital bed
Squinting at the ultrasound
Are you sure?
Doc confirming his dream came true
Adulteress
Living in sin
Pregnant unwed
A trifecta of sins
of the heart
At least I am consistent
And then he arrived
To a crazy house
filled with its share of problems
But the underlying theme
LOVE
Love permeates our family
That trifecta of sins
The sins in someone else’s eyes
Written in someone else’s book
Don’t guilt me like
They used to
because I know the truth
The truth that how could
something, someone
some young man
so beautiful ever
Be considered
A sin
Filled with wonder, love
Compassion, kindness
Smart, thoughtful, and a protector
An introvert by nature
A teenager without ego
and by choice without a phone
A loved young man
Raised with siblings-love
exponentially more powerful
Than the love of two
Our legacy is one of love
Modeled Given Received
Like my Daddy
Used to say
“Don’t fight it - it is bigger than both of us”
I’m so grateful we didn’t
Because our son
Is a solid young man
Ultimately the Universe is Love
And that love
love written in the stars
Forever ago
Is leaving a legacy of love
One that will carry on much longer than us
And no religion or book can guilt
Me because
Sin is no longer
A part of my vocabulary
A chapter I gladly closed
Much longer ago than 16 years
It makes me curious
Who are we to judge someone’s
decision
Incapable of knowledge
Without the jog in their shoes
Deep gratitude for the other beautiful sins