When my second oldest was teeny tiny, just over two years old, my parents were taking her to her gymnastics class, helping me because I was about to give birth to Number Three.  Being her little self, gazing out the window, she observed that my parents kept driving by her class as it was unmarked and behind a church.  After the fourth time or so, driving back and forth, she finally piped up from the backseat and said, “Right there! Right There!”  My parents listened to the wise little human and they found their way which was in front of them the whole time. We all can find our way. We need to start by looking into our little selves.   

Oftentimes as a coach, I hear from clients, “I don’t really know what my gifts or strengths are.”  We can blame that on our busy-ness, the inability to stop, reflect and take the time to gain some self-awareness.  But I bet if you asked a best friend, they would definitely know your gifts. They may not know their own, but they know yours.  

Look around you.  Pick anyone in your life and they may most likely have a gift you don’t.  A natural ability to:

right the wrongs

nurture

inspire

feel deeply

observe

be aware

be playful

have assertiveness 

or have an accepting nature.  

That’s the beauty of our God-given talents and the Nine Enneagram types.  We don’t have the same ones and we certainly don’t have them all.  Thank God!

In the Enneagram world, (I know, I know, here she goes again, but hear me out),  our strengths were born from a childhood message we received and these strengths are a part of the blueprint for our growth.  As children, we perceived our environment in a certain way whether it was true or not (remember, this is from the child’s perspective) and our strengths were born.  In our strengths, lies our shadow work where our blindspot resides, our Saboteurs and our Holy Idea (which I like to call Whole-y Idea).  Knowing these four human attributes charts our Path to Wholeness.  Let me explain.  

Let’s take the Type Two.  Type Two’s childhood message was “it is not ok to have your own needs.”  When this is your message, you quickly figure out how to cope with this.  This birthed the Two’s gift for nurturing others.  I don’t mean in a circumstantial way like raising kids or having a family pet.  I mean, they were born to nurture, it is who they are in every fiber of their being.  They can’t help themselves!  When taken too far, this beautiful gift gets overdone and the Two becomes the Pleaser (their Saboteur).  They can become enablers with the need to nurture no matter the cost to themselves.  This Pleaser Saboteur causes much stress to them as all Saboteurs do. Taken a little deeper (you know I like to do this) and we can see their shadow (although they can’t always - not just a Two problem by the way) which is pride because Twos “give to get” and when a Two wakes up to this shadow of pride and can admit to the motivation behind the giving,  a whole new world opens up to them.  The veil is lifted and they can see this blindspot, the why behind their actions and can then choose a different course, a healthier course, a course, that is still nurturing, but with more awareness. The Two’s Holy Idea (read Whole-y idea) is Will and Freedom, where if you can get over yourself (ego and that pride thing in the Two’s case) and allow the Universe to do its job, you will see you are just a part of the necessary nurturing the planet needs and you can lean into being a part of this plan, you are not the plan. There is a Will (thy will be done) and there is Freedom in knowing "I can be me and contribute, but it doesn’t all depend on me.”  This is the Path to Wholeness.  

News Flash - each Enneagram type has this programming. Every Path to Wholeness starts with our childhood message and the birthed strengths from this message. Our strength’s shadow is an irrational emotional coping mechanism, our blindspot.  Our Saboteur then shows up when our strengths run amok, our Ego gets bent out of shape and stress ensues.  We need this darkness for the light to shine.  And finally, our Path to Wholeness is where we aspire to live, in the Truth that we are a part of something much bigger than us and where our strengths can shine in the beauty of relaxing into this Truth.  

“Right there! Right there!” The answer has been with us all along.  Right there in our strengths.  Right there in our shadow.  Right there in our Saboteur.  Right there in our Whole-y Idea.  And just like my parents, who decided to have faith in that little backseat driver, we too can believe we know where we are going if we just take a moment to see what is in front of us.