I’m pretty psyched. Within two weeks of offering free Enneagram typing sessions, I had 10 takers and counting. While this doesn’t mean money in the bank, the worth of what I have learned far exceeds what may have ended up in the bank account.
As a Type 5, I have read many books about Enneagram (let’s say 20 out of the 40+ purchases!). I’m thought-centered (fyi this doesn’t necessarily mean thoughtful) and I had charts, scales and numeric values for my client’s answers for each of my typing sessions. I made triple sure I covered each client’s top four possible types and took their Saboteurs (PQ Intelligence™) into consideration and how they might fit into their type. I’m taking two courses simultaneously for certifications. I’m in. But this doesn’t mean everyone I coach is a Type Five (far from it) and few people really respond well to this type of analysis. People want to be heard. People want me to be curious. To be reflective and to hold space for them while they process the questions I ask them to ponder. They don’t want to see me jotting even more notes down, calculating with precision their dominant type. The people who know me might expect this of me. But others, not so much.
One session in particular with a total stranger who found me on LinkedIn and took a chance on my free offering was from New Zealand. After some quick introductions, I started down the comparison charts, she stopped me and said “this isn’t really going to work for me. This type of questioning is very difficult for me.” I thought “uh-oh, she doesn’t want to follow my formulaic ways!”
What did this client need right now? What was I going to do with all of these charts and fill in the blanks I had?
My head froze for a moment, I took a breath and let my gut and heart took over. You see, as a dominant Type 5, my Center of Intelligence is Head so Gut and Heart take me some time to activate. I quickly pivoted to read some narratives. I gave her space as she listened and contemplated. Moving on to some typing questions, she was more relaxed and I was able to discern what we both needed. She needed time for contemplation, not rattling off adjectives and I needed time to tap into my more empathic skills and the ability to read people. She flourished and I was relieved. We ended up having a great session but I feel like I should have paid her. She helped me open my eyes to the recipients experience so directly and honestly yet kindly and still open-minded. She wasn’t second guessing my abilities, just the way I was presenting the material to her didn’t resonate. After that session, I reflected back on my other sessions and wished for a do-over. I approach these sessions differently now.
Having empathy for myself, self-love and care is critical to this process of coaching. As mentioned (maybe more than once), I tend to rationalize pretty much everything so it is super duper important I sink into my heart and body centers too. From there, I can empathize with my client and listen to my instincts with some clarity. I can help them accept the hard things about themselves as well as all of the cool strengths they were born to share. All of those skills come from being a personal trainer for years (and from my Four Wing - but that is another blog).
As a coach, it is expected of me to continue my growth path and the Enneagram has proven to continue to teach me how to do this. Part of the beauty of the Enneagram is continuing to learn things about myself, that maybe I can share with my readers so you too can learn from my mistakes, whether you are a Type 5 or not.
And while I’m taking not just one but two certification courses simultaneously I can rationalize them (uh-oh, did someone say Hyper-Rational) as they are so completely complementary and so helpful to me as a coach. They both have given me the confidence to jump into this Enneagram coaching world with my eyes wide open and I’m also learning, albeit the hard way sometimes, my heart and gut are equally valuable during these sessions. Love lessons I am happy to learn as the head doesn’t always know best.