What My Golf Game is Teaching Me about Life

It’s an unusual morning. My son is driving me to work. I have missed these mornings since he has his car and has been driving himself to school. I decided to share a secret. “I have to confess something,” I say sheepishly, “I’m addicted to golf.” OK, maybe it isn’t a secret since it’s pretty much all I talk about. I continue and explain how I’m getting nothing else done - no marketing my coaching practice, no bookkeeping, no dance class prep, no water coloring, no writing, nothing. Oh, wait, I still feed my family. Check. Phew! But pretty much everything else has gone bye-bye. Case in point, I haven’t blogged in a month and I actually like to blog.

The teenager listens intently and says, “Well, I like to play video games, Mama, but I make sure all my work is done first.” Thank you my Buddha Brock. Once again, learning from my 17-year-old.  

This is my third summer playing golf. Well actually, the first two weren’t spent playing, more like trying to make contact with the ball and not break my wrist. So actually technically, this is my first summer playing and I’m learning plenty about much more than golf.  

1. Stick-to-it-iveness: I’m not good, but I’m getting better and this too would happen with pretty much anything any one of us undertakes with the prerequisite that you have to want to learn it, then stick with it. You will get better. But the coolest part of sticking with fill-in-the-blank is just around the corner is another opportunity with a fresh start and you don’t know what is going to happen. So whether you are taking on a new hobby and you haven’t yet mastered it or handling one of life’s challenges, we don’t know what is around the corner and that is a good thing. Living in the mystery gives us space to stick to it, whatever it is.   

2. Grit: The last two summers when things were going south on the rare occasion I did go out on the course, I would stop playing. I couldn’t get my act together. I thought about quitting. I got very quiet (read grumpy). Now, I have learned to keep score, even a bad score, at some point, you actually have to play ALL 18 holes and write down the number of shots you take. Yes, all of them. With play, comes grit. You have to take the bad with the good. A bad shot can’t lead to a bad mood because then many more bad shots will come your way. I promise you this but don’t ask me. Ask my husband.  

3. Timing: Of course, you need timing with your swing, but much more importantly, you need timing with your husband (partner, friend, parent, sibling, coworker, etc). And sitting in the golf cart, listening to your husband complain about his last shot is not the time to tell him to grow up. A couple of days later is the right timing and I’m happy to report, he is growing. He happily announced to me that he is working on it and I have noticed. This is a good thing because I would have been golfing by myself, which was never the point of taking up the game. So hold your tongue. A better time is coming. 

4. Deep presence: The moment you think about that bullfrog croaking, the crow cawing (or should I say heckling), or the golfer on the next hole yelling “FORE” you can kiss your beautiful drive goodbye. Stay in the moment and the moment will be beautiful.  

5. Community: One of acceptance and patience. Once in a while, we get paired up with someone or some two and we have to play with them. Yes, we have to play with strangers, kind of like when we were little when we didn’t judge. We just played, together. Everyone we have met has been so kind and supportive. As a newbie, I often apologize for my lack of skill but no one seems to mind and it feels good to experience a supportive community, one we didn’t know existed amongst strangers. Golf does that. I’m sure other sports might do this (do tell), but I’m not playing other sports so this has been a fun perk of the game.  

6. Humility and Grace: There is nothing quite like that one beautiful shot that makes you think you are the bomb and can join the pro circuit tomorrow. And then, the next shot comes and you realize, you are not all that. Humbling yes, and grace has become an acquired taste. One I learned from Lesson #2.

I look back on this blog and think (actually I know) I just wanted to write about golf but now I realize, golf has taught me so many beautiful life lessons. Ones I may have had before, but not bundled up so sweetly into my one new obsession. It isn’t called The Beautiful Game, that is soccer’s blessing, but it should be.  

I just wish I could have played with my Daddy, just once. That would have been so much fun. For now, he shows up on the course whenever I see a crow (I believe they are always a sign from my parents) and I give that crow a sweet smile knowing he is watching me play a game he loved so much. And now, I too, know why he did. I wonder what life lessons he got out of playing. Knowing him, he most likely just thought it was fun. Oh yes, Number 7. Fun. That’s a good one. Now get out there and have some. You don’t have to ask me twice - I’m on it!