It happened when I least expected it. Driving home, listening to Audible. The author said, “A Five has lots of books but doesn’t like to share them.” WHAT?! How in the world did she know this about me? I barely knew this about me. I do have lots of books. And yes, I don’t like to share them (but I will buy you a copy). This is shadow work. A shadow hides in plain sight.
Let’s unpack this. I will give a scenario and if this rings true, you may want to explore the number at the end as a possible dominant Enneagram Point. You also might see your friends and family members in these descriptions. It is not your job to tell them what you see or think. Discovering your type is your journey. Let’s go.
You might feel an intensity towards something or someone. You think everyone has this feeling (hint - we don’t) and this is why confrontation isn’t a “thing” for you. People can be intimidated by you. This shadow is hiding in plain sight as an undercurrent of the stories you tell involving confrontation, your disdain for weakness and your need for control. (8)
You look for comfort and avoid confrontation. You struggle with making decisions and want to keep the peace. You are asleep to your wants and feel often you don’t have a seat at the table but you think you like it this way. This shadow hides in plain sight when you don’t speak up, allow others to take charge, or retreat to the comforts of routine. (9)
You believe there is a right or wrong way to do things. Your desire for control comes in the need to correct what is not right. You feel it is your duty to bring order to our world and struggle with understanding why others don’t. This shadow hides in plain sight when you get resentful, or angry over the seemingly simple things people could do if they would just do things right. (1)
Deep down you know you are a people pleaser. You think that it serves you and the world because somebody has to take care of everyone and it is your job. You secretly like being the one to do these things. This shadow is hiding in plain sight when you are looking for recognition for the giving you do and resent not being acknowledged. (2)
You are known for your achievements. You are goal oriented and love checking off the to-do list. You are able to work a room and like being the center of attention. You “chameleonize” and people think you are charismatic. Your shadow is hiding in plain sight when you think you are your achievements and believe that people’s admiration is your identity. (3)
You feel misunderstood. You can sit in melancholy without having to change it. You are a creative and feel original. Even though you think there is something special about yourself you secretly envy what others have or are doing. This shadow is hiding in plain sight when you escape to a world of fantasizing about what could be different. (4)
You hoard your time, energy, space, and other resources. You believe there are limited resources and protect them. You think this serves you since you consider resources as a limited commodity. This shadow hides in plain sight by keeping you from sharing your resources, sharing of yourself which in turn keeps you from connecting. (5)
You have a foreboding sense of security. You worry about the what-ifs and in turn worse-case scenario plan. The undercurrent of this shows up as anxiety. You may counter this by appearing to be strong or tough, but deep down your anxiety causes you to doubt. This hides in plain sight by showing up as your constant questioning about your safety and of those you love. (6)
You have a constant need for adventure. FOMO is your go-to. You feel like the world has so many opportunities and you need to take part in as many as you can. This constant search for the next cool thing covers up your desire to avoid anything painful. This shadow hiding in plain sight looks like over doing (dates, exercise, shopping, eating, friendships, etc). (7)
Well, that was fun.
Recently an Enneagram coach asked me, “What is it about the Enneagram that changed your life?” I had to think really hard about this. There were so many ways. But the biggest shift has been with my shadow work. Nothing has moved the needle more for me than recognizing this in myself and working with it. Shadow Work. What is hiding in plain sight for you? Once you see the unseen, you can’t unsee it.