I remember when someone told me about the Enneagram. She said, “You will love it.” I thought to myself, “I’m more than a number.” I laugh at myself now, knowing which Type I am (5 wing 4 - 4s feel special and unique) and I am so grateful the Universe conspired and now I am an Enneagram Coach. Richard Rohr writes in A Spring Within Us, “The only people who reject the Enneagram in my experience are people who do not understand it or do not have the humility or readiness to recognize how true it is in their own case.” Ha! That was totally me. This is also why you use the term dominant type when typing - we are more than just one number but that one number is an important starting point.
In my Deep Dive workshop, this week we tackled Saboteurs (I will be blogging about those in a couple of weeks). This happens to be one of the icky parts of the Enneagram and takes you a step deeper, adding nuance to the “more than a number” mentality. It is humbling to admit those neural addictions we have come up with to cope in life - our Saboteurs. I shared a moment when my Type Six sister (who tends to worry about most things) shared with me via text that she was worried about a family member. I said (in my Hyper-Rational Type Five way), “He is an adult.” That was all I wrote. Not very EQ of me (which I can access with my wing of Type Four). I now realize I could have validated how she felt (now knowing she is a Six and tends to worry) and still mentioned that he is an adult. Adding more EQ into the situation would have been a win-win. This is part of my life’s work. It brings to mind when a client said to me, “You aren’t that warm and fuzzy.” I remember how shocked I was at that observation. I can now see what she was talking about. Working on it - daily.
You can see how knowing your dominant Type and those of others is mutually beneficial. It helps tremendously with conflict resolution (and personal growth - I know, I know, broken record). But it really does. And between you and me, I would have never admitted to my sister that Hyper-Rational was showing up had I not understood my motivations to behave that way and her motivations to worry. Personal Growth! Familial Growth! (even better). By the way, it is very special doing a workshop with my sister. Just sayin’.
Remember I offer FREE Enneagram typing - no strings attached, I promise.
