I’m sitting next to my golf instructor in the cart (don’t judge me, it is my guilty pleasure) and she challenges me, “Why do you like to hit from the green tees?” Not having a great answer, I stumble over my words, something along the lines that my husband (who was my first instructor - AND we stayed married!) thinks I’m “strong” enough, that I am “better” than the red tees and some other BS stories I tried to get out. None of them is true. She said, “Well if you play from the red tees, which is where most ladies hit from and where tournament play happens, you might be less frustrated with your score. You’ll know what it feels like to par a hole, birdie, or even maybe an eagle. And then, once you hit the score you’ve been striving for, you can move back if you want.” I heard her and replied, “So you are saying I need to get comfortable first.” Exactly.
I took this lesson to my first Enneagram typing session with a total stranger. As a type Five, I thought A LOT about it, planned, resourced, planned some more, thought a lot more, and then it was time to present. I wasn’t really nervous. I had whittled it down to the most important information since the Enneagram can get overwhelming. I reflect now on the good, and the bad (did I mention the ugly?) and see that I stayed in my comfort zone. Was I able to answer every question she had perfectly? No. Did she walk away with her type? Yes. And that was the goal. We kept the session under an hour which was also one of my goals. I listened to my gut (which I tend not to do) and played in the boundaries I had set up for both of us. It was a win-win. I sent her off with her Type (where she can decide what to do with this information) and I can now stretch myself into the more robust Enneagram nuances for additional programming.
Like the chick who hatches when ready or the caterpillar who stays in the chrysalis until just the right time, we need to recognize when we’ve outgrown our comfort zone and nudge ourselves just a little. It doesn’t need to be scary, overwhelming, or too far out of our zone, just enough.
So now, after the comfort, I can step back to the green tees (just metaphorically - I’m not even close to reaching my score goal) and taste what that feels like as I figure out what steps I need to take next. Little by little. Growth is just outside of my comfort zone. And yours too.