I was dreading it. Pre-prom festivities.
Don’t get me wrong. I was excited to see the young men and women dressed up for their prom night. It would be their last prom together. They all looked great.
What I was dreading was the small talk and socializing with all the parents. Give me a small group and I can handle it, not well, but I can handle it. Dozens and dozens of other adults, well, let’s just say, I feel awkward, very awkward. Couple that with a lack of being a drinker (maybe I should start!) and for this Five type, I just want to get back in the car and drive home. To add to this uncomfortableness, I had nothing to wear. I don’t usually care about this, but I didn’t want to look like I was at work - leggings and a black Smartwool sweater. So I put on jeans and a black Smartwool sweater. I hate getting dressed.
I’m quickly approached by a familiar face. You think that would be enough for me. It wasn’t. I scour the perimeter, looking for the photographer so I can just sit back and watch her do her thing. That worked for a little while and then the pictures were done. I counted the minutes and luckily it was getting chilly and I wasn’t dressed appropriately - thank God, so I said to Ernie, “Is it time for us to go?” My husband knows me well and obliged immediately.
For a long time, I thought this was the real me. But after studying the Enneagram (and of course, some Eckhart Tolle splashed in), I am reminded this is not me. This is the character I play in life. And whether real or fictional, this is just a character, a personality. I see my type (and your type) everywhere now and I sympathize with them. Just like all the types, the Five wasn’t meant to stay home and hoard our gifts. To live in to my potential I need to drop this personality trait I have defined myself by. Every single one of us is meant to shine our light with others, dropping our personality and leaning into our Potentiality,
So what have you noticed about yourself that is taking you away from shining your light? Your scenario might be different but it is still an egoic reaction. You might always be looking for the next thing to keep you busy (Type Seven and their restlessness) instead of using that enthusiasm to inspire others. Or you might be really good at judging yourself (and others - Type One) so much that your principled nature gets caught in that loop instead of gifting those principles into advocacy. Or maybe you think everyone else has a great life (Type Four) and you forget how much the world needs your deep emotional intelligence. The list goes on but you get the picture. Your forgetfulness has kept you from your potential. When you retreat into typical patterns, you are playing the character of you, the personality of you. Take a look at yourself and uncover the true gifts that you are hiding and gift them to others. Service using your gifts is the only master plan and requires you to bring awareness to your personality to step into your Potentiality.
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