The Teeter Totter of Our Daily Lives

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

If you have done a typing session with me, then you know at some point, I show a slide that says THE GOAL OF THE ENNEAGRAM, with a graphic of the Centers of Intelligence. I explain to the client that the goal of the Enneagram is to balance our Centers of Intelligence. But what the heck does that really mean?

In my 13 month class I’m taking, this week, I decided to ask a question. We have a two-hour Integration session where the teachers take questions and then they “coach” participants. I would prefer to just put my question in the chat to the moderator, but this time she encouraged me to ask the question. So with a shaky voice and a rapid heartbeat, I raised my hand in the Zoom call.

My question was about my inability to express anger or frustration. You see, I’m a Five and my dominant type comes from the Head Center. Couple that with my Arrows and it takes a little more for me to get in touch with my feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m deeply in touch with my empathy, sadness, and compassion (ask anyone who really knows me and they will tell you I can go from happy to tears in an instant) but those “harder” emotions, anger and frustration, don’t come very naturally to me. I think it is a combination of my observant and reflective ways, my practice of trying not to take things personally, and, as a Five, needing to process these tougher feelings before I share them (which I usually don’t). So I asked the teacher “How can I feel these?”

“When you do feel these emotions, where do you feel them?”, she asked. I replied, “In between my belly and my heart” (a recent golf outing tested this!). As expected, she suggested I take a breath and get very present with the moment. I don’t need to express this feeling, but I do need to feel it. She told me when these unusual feelings (for me) come up, put one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and just breathe into the feeling. Notice what is happening in my heart center and body center. Stay with whatever I am feeling.

This is what I mean by balancing our Centers of Intelligence. Whether you come from your head, heart or body initially, those other two Centers need attention. We need to get in touch with them because they are telling us something, that is why they are also Centers of Intelligence. I can’t go through life thinking my way through it. I need to feel what my heart is saying and get in tune with what my body is telling me. All three play a role in our presence and can be powerful guides for the moment we are in.

All day long these Centers are activated. We just need to get in touch with them and they will allow us to live from our True Self instead of our Ego or False Self. Daily, our lives teeter back and forth between these two Selves, True and False. It is up to us to deepen our awareness of our Centers of Intelligence so we can tap into the Infinite Knowledge that is available to us when we are present.

Remember I offer FREE Typing sessions - please share this with your friends and family. EVERYONE who has done them enjoys the process and learns quite a bit about themselves whether they continue coaching with me or not.

This week’s blog is about Basic Fears and Desires. These come from our Childhood Messages. The Enneagram is a beautiful blueprint to our True Self. Join me and read up on the Spiral of Discovery and uncover your own Enneagram blueprint.

From Personality to Potentiality

I was dreading it. Pre-prom festivities.   

Don’t get me wrong.  I was excited to see the young men and women dressed up for their prom night.  It would be their last prom together. They all looked great.   

What I was dreading was the small talk and socializing with all the parents.  Give me a small group and I can handle it, not well, but I can handle it.  Dozens and dozens of other adults, well, let’s just say, I feel awkward, very awkward.  Couple that with a lack of being a drinker (maybe I should start!) and for this Five type, I just want to get back in the car and drive home.  To add to this uncomfortableness, I had nothing to wear.  I don’t usually care about this, but I didn’t want to look like I was at work - leggings and a black Smartwool sweater.  So I put on jeans and a black Smartwool sweater.  I hate getting dressed. 

I’m quickly approached by a familiar face.  You think that would be enough for me.  It wasn’t.  I scour the perimeter, looking for the photographer so I can just sit back and watch her do her thing.  That worked for a little while and then the pictures were done.  I counted the minutes and luckily it was getting chilly and I wasn’t dressed appropriately - thank God, so I said to Ernie, “Is it time for us to go?”  My husband knows me well and obliged immediately. 

For a long time, I thought this was the real me. But after studying the Enneagram (and of course, some Eckhart Tolle splashed in), I am reminded this is not me. This is the character I play in life. And whether real or fictional, this is just a character, a personality. I see my type (and your type) everywhere now and I sympathize with them. Just like all the types, the Five wasn’t meant to stay home and hoard our gifts.  To live in to my potential I need to drop this personality trait I have defined myself by. Every single one of us is meant to shine our light with others, dropping our personality and leaning into our Potentiality,

So what have you noticed about yourself that is taking you away from shining your light?  Your scenario might be different but it is still an egoic reaction.  You might always be looking for the next thing to keep you busy (Type Seven and their restlessness) instead of using that enthusiasm to inspire others. Or you might be really good at judging yourself (and others - Type One) so much that your principled nature gets caught in that loop instead of gifting those principles into advocacy.  Or maybe you think everyone else has a great life (Type Four) and you forget how much the world needs your deep emotional intelligence.  The list goes on but you get the picture.  Your forgetfulness has kept you from your potential. When you retreat into typical patterns, you are playing the character of you, the personality of you. Take a look at yourself and uncover the true gifts that you are hiding and gift them to others.  Service using your gifts is the only master plan and requires you to bring awareness to your personality to step into your Potentiality.

I offer affordable monthly coaching for $120/month.  This includes 2 half-hour private sessions and homework (of course). Click here now to start your journey.

(A Free Enneagram typing session is a prerequisite).  

Ahhhh, that's the difference between the Enneagram and those other tests.

The other day I was personally training a client, who happened to also be someone who typed with me. She was a bit confused as to the whole point of the Enneagram and the difference between the Enneagram and other personality assessments. I started to explain how it is a combination of psychology and spirituality (the differentiator). I explained to her that as a Three she likes the spotlight and her personality is such that she tends to showcase her creations (she makes beautiful works of art). That’s the psychology behind her Three-ness - garnering attention. The spirituality behind her type is her true gift - inspiring and teaching others. When she begins to spend more time offering these gifts to the world, she will be less identified with her personality (and what she produces) and more identified with her Essence. She will also feel more present and in flow when she is living on purpose sharing her gift of inspiration and teaching. Shedding our personality so that our light can shine, is really what the Enneagram is all about. I share another aspect of the Enneagram in this week’s blog.

Remember, I offer FREE Enneagram typing sessions. And if you have already been typed, please share this newsletter with a friend! You will have so much more to chat about.