Saboteur "Victim" Reflection, Group Enneagram Coaching begins 10/26

Positive Intelligence™

Ah, the Victim. We all know one, we may even be one! According to Positive Intelligence™, we do have nine saboteurs, not all at once but throughout our lives. I’m not fully buying that idea, but I certainly buy into having at least one Saboteur (not including our Judge - which we all have).

I’m sure you can all recognize the Victims in your life, whether it is your go-to Saboteur, or a close friend or family member. The characteristics include being withdrawn and pouty, fairly dramatic and temperamental, when things get tough, they give up and they seek attention through having emotional pain.

The Victim’s thoughts include “No one understands me,” “I am uniquely flawed,” and “Poor me, terrible things happen to me all the time.” Victims feel alone, and melancholy and usually have negative comparisons and envy.

They justify their Victim behavior by telling the lies that this is the way they will get attention and that sadness is noble. Their childhood message included not feeling seen or accepted, that something especially was wrong with them.

But the Victim Saboteur has the positive sides of the Type 4 on the Enneagram. Their strengths include being sensitive, introspective, very perceptive of the nuanced inner workings of the mind, and very capable of using this strength to connect, teach, inspire, and heal others.

Like all Saboteurs, this is just the beginning of self-actualization. If the Victim is your go-to strategy when things are going South, then you may be an Enneagram Type 4. Self-reflection is the beginning of typing yourself on the Enneagram.

Not sure if you can do it alone? Book a free session and I will give you access to two assessments to help us figure out your type. Together we can nail down your type and then the fun begins!

I’VE BEEN TYPED NOW WHAT?

I get this question after most every Enneagram typing session. Sure, I follow up with an email with some general information but the real work is in learning more about who you are, your strengths, shadow, childhood message, Triad, Arrows, Wings and more. Where does an Enneagram type begin?

Well, the least expensive way is a DIY. Read what you can get your hands on, and listen to books, or podcasts. But the truth of the matter is, you need feedback. So many times in my typing sessions, listening to the client, I am able to reflect back to them something they did not realize they said. Or another group participant says something slightly differently and it deeply resonates with the client.

Beginning Thursday night, 10/26 at 7:00 pm, I will be offering a twice monthly Enneagram Group Coaching session where we will start tackling the nuances of the Enneagram beginning with the Triads, starting with The Centers of Intelligence: Head, Heart and Body. The Centers of Intelligence help identify our most accessible emotional response or reaction; for those with a Head Center, anxiety and distress, for those with the Heart Center, fear and shame, and for those coming from the Body Center, frustration or anger. We will dive into exactly what this all means for YOU that night. This is the beginning of learning more about yourself and a perfect opportunity to take your personal growth journey one step further. $35. Sign up today. Limited to 8 people.

Saboteur Pleaser Reflection and Mental Fitness Workshop begins 10/12

PQ Intelligence™

The Pleaser Saboteur, according to PQ Intelligence is the part of us that indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. The Pleaser loses sight of their own needs and becomes resentful as a result (aka pride).

This Saboteur belongs to Enneagram Type 2. Type 2’s strengths include deep empathy, loving and giving, tuning into other people’s feelings and needs, being emotionally self-aware, and having high Emotional Intelligence. These are beautiful qualities. Each Enneagram has its strengths. Our Saboteurs take our strengths and distort their power.

The lies of this Saboteur include “I don’t do this for myself,” “I do this selflessly and don’t expect anything in return,” and “The world would be better if everyone acted this way.” Type 2s feel if they express their own needs they are being selfish. They worry that their own needs drive people away and they get resentful for being taken for granted but struggle to express this.

The Pleaser Saboteur jeopardizes the Type 2’s needs. It leads to burnout and resentment. Others may develop a dependence on you that isn’t healthy. Our Saboteurs always do the opposite of how we think it serves us. If any of this rings a bell, you might be a Type 2. We all know Type 2s. They are usually in the service-oriented industry, giving of themselves. Now you know a little about them.

If you think you are a Type 2, book a FREE Enneagram Session with me and we can confirm it. This will shed invaluable light on your strengths, shadow and how to get back to your True Identity - Will and Freedom.

I am so excited to be offering another workshop, Holding Space for Relationships PLUS Mental Fitness. We are currently working through a Health and Wellness PLUS Mental Fitness workshop, understanding the roles our Saboteurs play in our health decisions. Our Saboteurs wreak havoc on our relationships, too. However, going into the Mental Fitness seven-week series without the real knowledge of your Enneagram type does you a disservice, SO….. you will need to sign up for an Enneagram reading ASAP as I need a week to prepare your typing session and we start on the new Holding Space for Relationships PLUS Mental Fitness on 10/12. Limited to six people.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

This Week’s blog is all about the ripple effect of our Sage and

how our Saboteurs are the causes of our storms.

Saboteur STICKLER Reflection, FREE Enneagram Typing Continues and this week's blog

According to PQ Intelligence™, our Saboteurs are the nasty voices in our heads, wreaking havoc on our minds and stress levels. This week, I am going to explore the Stickler.

PQ Intelligence™

The Stickler is associated with Enneagram Type 1. The Stickler seeks perfectionism and a need for order and organization too far. The Stickler offers a way of quieting the constant voice of self-judgment and fear of others’ judgments by trying to be perfect. Being punctual, methodical and a perfectionist might seem self-serving but these characteristics (as with all Saboteurs) are highly destructive. The lies of the Stickler include “it is up to me to fix whatever mess I encounter,” “this is my personal obligation,” and “I know how things should be done and must do the right thing.”

This leads to constant frustration and disappointment with self and others for not living up to the ideals and standards. The Stickler is a source of ongoing anxiety and frustration. It is how an Enneagram Type 1 expresses anger. The Stickler comes across as irritable, tense, opinionated, and sarcastic. Thoughts of this Saboteur include “right is right and wrong is wrong,” “if you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all,” and “others simply aren’t as capable as me.”

Enneagram Type 1’s strengths include high ideals and standards. Type 1s are highly capable of leading self and others to live and work based on clear guiding principles. They are also incredibly self-disciplined and have a direct and discerning communication style.

You may not be a type 1, but if you know one, now you know why they behave the way they do and it will be helpful for you to give them some space and grace.

Enneagram typing is where everything begins when it comes to personal growth. I wouldn’t say you can’t grow without it, but it does give you a blueprint for growth and much more of a rudder to help you steer your ship. I will continue to offer this for FREE so please tell your friends (or better yet, forward this newsletter). I want to change the world. I want people to live their fullest lives and the Enneagram gives us direction and purpose so we can all live with intention. After your typing, you can continue to choose to invest in your growth with me as your coach OR you can do the work DIY. Either way, to me, it is a win-win.

This week’s blog is all about how feeling comfortable can lead to growth. Click on the picture below.

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash